Aveneu Park, Starling, Australia

Ben her kid while letting him make his own

Ben Ostler

1/25/18

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English 102

Writing project 1 proposal- Hopes for me

            My mother, Jo Bond-Ostler, has gone beyond the call of
duty in helping me and giving me advice in becoming a better person. I have
grown up with her fingerprints all over my personality and character. This
Interview shed more light into why it is so important for her to nurture and
protect her kid while letting him make his own choices. This interview was impactful
for me because I’ve never heard many of these stories that she told me including
the fact that she ran away from home before college. My mother used her positive
and negative experiences as a kid to be a better mother to me than her mother
was to her.

            As stated above, this interview was enjoyable and even surprising
because I never knew about her running from home. I never met her parents and
have only met her two sisters twice. I was led to believe that the distance
apart was the main barrier. That was not the case, in the interview my mom explains
that she and her parents disagreed on politics and it began to impact her when
she began to look at colleges. My mom wanted to go to The University of Texas
at Austin, but her parents claimed that the school was too ‘liberal’. She ended
up not listening to her parents and went to the University of Texas. Excelling
and happy, she then got a call that her dad had passed away. Her dad was the
one person in the house who listened to her opinions and let her make her own
choices. After feeling regret for not calling him in the final weeks, my mom
decided to honor the hard-working mentality of her dad and study even harder.
After becoming a scholar student, my mom was increasingly fearful of going home
to her mother. She then started to live and stay at her friend’s house without
her mother’s consent. Graduated from college and then moved to a Chicago to get
married and start a family.

            My mom has overcome having nobody in her corner to back
her up and she has still gotten up and had a positive outlook on life. During
the interview I noticed that she became emotional when talking about her mom because
I believe she feels regret that they could never coexist. The main point that I
take away from this is how selfless my mom is towards me and her hopes for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Introduction: ?

My
mother, Jo Bond­-Ostler, was born in New Mexico and moved to Texas when she was
about 2 years old. Grew up in a very conservative family and chose to grow up
how she felt. She went to a big high school and moved out away from her family
to become the only sibling in her family to obtain not only a college degree in
Accounting, but a master’s in management.

Questions:

Where
did you grow up?

Very
young-Carlsbad, NM, but at 2 moved to Dallas, TX, then when I was about 10 I
moved to Lewisville, TX which is a small suburb of Dallas.

 

Why did
your family settle in Texas?

My dad
was an electrical engineer. When in Carlsbad he worked for the Carlsbad Caverns
designing lighting layouts. A job working for the City of Dallas as an
inspector of lighting and electrical configurations in the large skyscrapers
being built in Dallas was offered to him. We all moved to Texas.

 

Raised
in a small suburb of Dallas, what was the biggest challenge of attending a huge
school like the University of Texas at Austin?

When I
was a sophomore in high school, I went to bank competition in Austin at the
Texas campus. When I walked around the campus I knew I wanted to go there. It
was big and sprawling and active. It was just alive. I did not realize what a
good school it was, I just knew I wanted to go there.

 

What
was the toughest decision that you made that was against your parent’s advice?

Going
to the University of Texas at Austin. My dad attended Texas Tech University and
I think it was his heart’s desire to have me go there. But I fought to go to
Texas and I did. One of the reasons why they did not want me to go to Texas is
that it was a very liberal school and they, my mom particularly, was worried
that I would be converted to liberalism. What my mom did not know, but my dad
did, that I was already on my way to be a liberal. He was proud of the fact
that I had my own opinions and had justification for those opinions.

 

What
was your relationship with your mom like?

My mom
felt that her opinion was the only correct opinion. If I voiced a difference of
opinion, she would often completely dismiss my statements. This relationship
continued from when I was very young until she passed away. We could not carry
on a conversation without there being hurt feelings. It was often the case that
we did not speak so everyone else could be happy. It taught me to have respect
for other opinions because she did not care to hear my opinion.

 

What
was your relationship with your dad like?

My dad
was the most amazing person. He would ask what I was doing and really listen to
my answer. He loved to read and passed that along to me. He loved to discuss
politics and passed that along to me. He was very smart and encouraged me in
every way. He was a very strict disciplinarian, and this did not go over well
with my sisters. But he was the youngest of six kids growing up in the Great
Depression in Oklahoma, so his family was very poor. The first time he had an
article of clothing that was not a hand me down was when he joined the Navy as
part of World War II. I was the youngest and so he made sure to give me much
more attention. So, my relationship is very different from what my sisters
remember. There is a bond between youngest.

 

How did
your life change after the loss of your dad?

 I was at college when my dad passed away and I
felt so far from him. I had not spoken to him in a couple of weeks, so it made
me sad that I had not called him. But he passed away suddenly and did not
suffer. It was a terrible thing to me because he had taught me so much and I
did not thank him. But he is still with me because of the things he taught me,
the desire to learn, being a baseball fan, looking at the world as being a
glass half full, and trying my best at all things. That is a nice legacy for
him. I ended up leaving the house prematurely after the constant arguments. I
stayed at a friend’s house and went home only to wash clothes and visit my siblings
every couple of weeks. In a weird way, I bonded with my sisters and gained confidence
to carry his traditions.

 

How has that situation
help you become a better parent?

Its given me both ends
of the parenting spectrum. I always let you share your own opinions and let you
make your own decisions, but ill always give you my best advice. I also have tried
my best to give you the safest house possible where you won’t have to make a
decision like I had to do.  

 

What
brought you to Chicago?

 I wanted to get out of Texas which was all
about the good old boys. I visited Chicago and really liked the city.

 

Why not
another city in the Midwest?

When I
was looking to move, I knew I wanted to move to a big city. I visited New York
and really liked it but did not see myself as living there. On garbage
collection day, I do not think anyone wants to live in NY. I visited Boston,
liked it, but did not think it was the place for me because the people thought
they lived in the only city that was any good. Also, I was a Yankees fan, I
would not have survived Boston very long.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Analysis
and Reflection

            This project and interview idea was beneficial for both
sides. My mom and I hadn’t talked since I had gotten back to school and my mom
had never told em about her relationship with her mom. I’ve always known that
her and her mom had a strained relationship, but I never knew that she ran away
when her dad passed. I could tell the way she felt about each of her parents
when she was talking on the phone by her tone and at the pace of speech. When
talking about her dad she was soft at a slow pace and it seemed to be her reminiscing
her time with him. Concurrently, when talking about her mom the tone was sharp
and quick. The only question that was no answered in the interview was when I
asked my mom if she would change anything or say anything to tem is she saw
them today. She seemed like she’s never thought about it or it could be that she
donsent like to think about that time in her life. In conclusion, I came out of
the interview respecting that my mom was able to use her murky family past to
help her become a better mother for me.

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